Did David & Jonathan really just teach us about true friendship?

Let’s just be honest, most of us moms want the same thing for our girls: good friends… because we all know the types of friends our daughters hang around ultimately has an effect on the type of person they become.

The friends we want for our girls are the kind who cheer them on, encourage them to do the right thing, and nudge them toward Jesus when the world is pulling them in the opposite direction. 

The good news? Scripture doesn’t just tell us friendships matter, it actually shows us what healthy ones actually look like. David and Jonathan’s bond paints us a nice picture of four habits our girls can practice right now to grow strong, faith-filled friendships.

[Graphic: Simple pull quote: “Good friendships start with you.”]

Why friendships matter (and why they’re hard)

Friendships can make the school year fly by with ease or feel really heavy. The right circle helps our girls grow, make wise choices, and feel less alone. The wrong one? It can pull them off course and tempt them into compromising who they are. 

That’s why it’s so important our girls don’t just hope for good friends, but learn how to be a good friend. 

Scripture reminds us we were never meant to do life alone (Genesis 2:18). And when we look at Jonathan and David’s story (1 Samuel 18–20), we see more than just a Bible story, we see practical habits that make healthy friendships possible.

[Graphic: Minimal “4 Habits” icon grid]

1) Selflessness: Celebrate without comparing

When David won, Jonathan didn’t get weird or competitive, instead he cheered. In girl world, that might look like clapping for a friend who made the team even if your daughter didn’t.

What to try at home:

• At dinner, ask: “What’s one win your friend had recently? What’s something you can do to celebrate her?”

Simple Scripture to meditate on: “Love… does not envy” (1 Corinthians 13:4).

[Graphic: Phone mockup with “Proud of you!” text bubble]

2) Loyalty: Show up when it counts

Jonathan stood by David when things got messy. Loyalty for our girls can be small but can be things like: 

• Sitting with a friend who had a rough day
• Speaking well of her when she’s not around

What to try at home:

• Role-play a hallway moment: “Someone is teasing your friend. What’s a loyal response you can say kindly?”

Simple Scripture to meditate on: “A friend loves at all times” (Proverbs 17:17).

[Graphic: Two backpacks side-by-side on a bench]

3) Protection: Want what’s best for each other

Jonathan protected David even when it could have cost him his life. For our girls, protection often means helping friends make wise choices and stepping in with kindness when something feels off.

What to try at home:

• Teach a “pause & pray” cue: if a group chat turns mean, encourage your daughter to take a minute before responding. Tell her to say a quick prayer and then choose to either change the subject, speak up, or not text back at all.

Simple Scripture to meditate on: “Encourage one another and build each other up” (1 Thessalonians 5:11).

[Graphic: Subtle shield icon with a heart inside]

4) Trust: Keep your word

Trust grows when our girls do what they say they’re gonna do. If she promises to show up, she shows up. If she promises to help a friend with their homework, she does that.

Trust also looks like not relaying something a friend has told her in confidence to someone else (unless of course it’s something that needs to be relayed to a trusted adult)

What to try at home:

• Discussion on boundaries: “What’s okay to keep between friends? When do we need to tell a trusted adult?”

Simple Scripture to meditate on: “Let your ‘Yes’ be yes” (Matthew 5:37).

[Graphic: Printable idea preview—“Friendship Check-In” one-pager]

Want to help your daughter reflect on her friendships in a gentle, guided way?

Free Download: Friendship Check-In Worksheet

This printable worksheet walks her through simple questions that help her reflect on and evaluate the quality of a friendship she has with any particular friend.

It’s not about judging friends, it’s moreso about noticing patterns and asking, “Is my friendship with this person drawing me closer to God… or further away?”

👉 [Download the free Friendship Check-In Worksheet here!] (CTA link placeholder)

A short prayer for our girls

“Lord, help my daughter become a friend who reflects Your heart: selfless, loyal, protective, and trustworthy. Surround her with girls who do the same. Give her courage to choose what’s right and joy to celebrate others. Amen.”

Gentle wrap-up

As moms, we know we don’t need a huge circle, just a faithful one. Now it’s time to teach our daughters what exactly that looks like. Good friendships start with her… and with us.

If you’d love steady, faith-based encouragement to put in your daughter’s hands each month, Her Blessed Letters was made for you. It’s God-centered letters of encouragement, offers simple prayers girls can say, and practical prompts delivered right to your mailbox each month. Learn more and join the club today.